Thank you for reading our April Fools Newsletter, if you aren't already a newsletter subscriber, sign up here!
We're an all-volunteer grassroots organization advocating for safe and affordable transportation, abundant housing, and more and better public spaces.
Help us strengthen our advocacy and grow Philly's urbanist political movement.
JOIN US AS A MEMBER
🎰 BIG TRANSIT FUNDING NEWS!
Harrisburg Reaches Transit Funding Deal that Fills SEPTA's Budget Deficit by Requiring Skill Games on All Buses
🐴 PRESERVING OUR TREASURED PAST
New Historic Overlay Inadvertently Prohibits all Non-Horse Transportation in Society Hill; Community is Split Between "Yeas" and "Neighs"
🏛️ CITY HALL NEWS
☝️ Municipal Workers File Repetitive Stress Injury Claims Due to constantly “Putting Up Their Ones”
📨 Sheriff Demands All Employees Send an Email Outlining 5 Scams They Pulled Last Week
🚲 SPRUCE & PINE UPDATE
City of Philadelphia Rebrands New Loading Zones on Spruce & Pine Streets as Tiny Bike Lanes You Can Park In
“I was afraid that with the new 'no stopping' law, I would never get to park in a bike lane again – but, with these new tiny bike lanes, my fears are gone!”, says one Center City West resident. “It’s just so satisfying to rest my tires on that green paint!!”
🚇 METRO WAYFINDING UPDATE
SEPTA Renames LBTG Metro Lines to Red, White, Blue & Amurica Lines to Win Back Federal Transportation Funding
🚢 SOUTH PHILLY WATERFRONT
Philadelphia Regional Port Authority in Talks to Find Even Bigger Ship to Replace S.S. United States
Ever since the departure of the SS United States from the South Philly waterfront, the loss has been palpable. “I used to go to Ikea to eat Swedish meatballs every Saturday since my wife left me,” said one Pennsport resident. “What am I supposed to look at now?”
A spokesperson for the Philadelphia Regional Port Authority echoed this resident’s sentiments. “Philadelphia needs something like this to unite the city -- a bigger ship.” the spokesperson said. “Honestly, they truly just don't make them like they used to.”
5th Square is Philadelphia's urbanist political action committee.
We're an all-volunteer grassroots organization advocating for safe and affordable transportation, abundant housing, and more and better public spaces. You’re receiving this email if you signed up via our website, attended one of our events, or supported one of our advocacy campaigns.
Support our advocacy with a recurring monthly contribution of $5 or more.